How Does It Feel A Leah Clearwater one shot
by likefireandpowder24
Summary: This takes place directly after Breaking Dawn. Just a shot story from Leah's POV, dealing with her brother, mother, Charlie and her mixed feelings about imprinting.


I felt my paws crush the earth as I patted along the darkening forest. The soft rustle of leaves behind me told me that my brother wasn't too far behind. I struggled against the urge to stretch my muscles to push them to their full capacity and slowed my run so that I wouldn't loose him. I heard his internal whine. He wanted to be back there with Jake, socializing with all those bloodsuckers. I shook my head. I would never be able to comprehend his obsession with them.

"Oh shut up Leah." He moaned. "And stop with that bloodsucker stuff. I thought we were past that."

I barked a laugh. "Just in your own little world Seth. Everyone else has the sense to see clearly."

"Jacob likes them…" he mumbled begrudgingly.

"That's just because of that little…" I thought for the appropriate word. It was sort of impossible for the mutant spawn not to crawl into your heart a little, but that didn't mean that I wasn't going to pretend that I was fully okay with this new sudden tie to the vampires. And if our mother's relationship went any further, soon enough she would be my step-niece. Ew. Mutant spawn. That was a good word. "…that little mutant spawn. If he had any mind for his own, he would see reason." I smiled a little about the insult I was about to deliver, hoping that Seth couldn't see it forming in my mind. "But I guess it's not your fault. You can't help it that you're in love. But I mean, Seth, this can only end badly. He has a wife! And a child! I think you need to realize that Edward just doesn't see you that way."

"Har! Har! Har! Aren't we clever?" But despite his annoyance Seth let out a little laugh of his own.

"Listen," I started in a more serious tone. "It's really up to you. If you want to, you can go back and come home later with Jake. But, I would feel more… comfortable, if you came home now. Not to mention that we're going to get it from mom when we arrive. I think it would be better to present a strong front."

"Sure, Sure." God! He was starting to sound more and more like Jake. I would have to get him to stay in human form for a while. Too much time inside Jake's head was obviously messing with Seth's verbal ability to express emotions. I searched into Seth's head, and surprisingly, he didn't put up a fight. It was there, clear and strong. He missed home, and despite the fact that we would have to put up with mom's relentless questions as we reassured her that nothing happened, he would be pleased to be in his own bed for the first time in a while.

We were close now. I ran a little ahead and just slightly to the right to get out of Seth's view as I changed. It's not like it really mattered, but I still felt the need to hold on to some privacy. I let my body relax as I felt my muscles conform to my natural shape. Once on two feet again, I reached down to my ankle where a tattered pull over dress lay covered in mud. Just a moment after I let the material fall loosely around my body, I heard my brother walk up to me.

"Ready?" He questioned.

"Yeah. Let's go home."

The two of us emerged from the forest a half mile from our own backyard. As we walked into view of the back windows, our mother's anxious eyes greeted us.

"Where on earth have you two been?" We heard her screech as she ran out the back door in nothing but her slippers and pyjamas.

"Mom, get back inside you'll freeze!" Seth yelled. We both picked up our pace so that she wouldn't have to go too far to close the gap.

When we reached her, Seth turned her around, while placing her tiny frame under his arm, shielding her from the cold air.

"You two had me worried sick! Sam's pack came back hours before. To think, I had to hear it from him rather than my own two children that everyone was alright. You could have had the decency to call. It's called a telephone. All the while I had no idea. You can not just go into such a dangerous situation without calling to tell me everything was okay. I mean, the Vampturi, or whatever the hell they are called, comes and you don't even care about how sick I was."

I took the small break it took for her to inhale from her worrying to attempt to calm her.

"Mom, we're fine. Nothing even happened."

"Yeah, it kind of sucked. We even didn't get to fight once." Seth joked, attempting to ease our mother's nerves.

I shot him a glare for his seriously failed attempt. Seth shrugged innocently as I turned to open the back door and spoke to my mother again. "Mom, I'm sorry we didn't call. A lot was going on, and we basically left as soon as we could. I know you must have been worried. We're sorry."

"Well…" She looked as she was close to tears. "Sorry doesn't cut it. You two are grounded."

Seth looked as if this might have bothered him more if he were more awake. His eyes were already starting to droop. I couldn't have cared less. I knew my mother was just reacting to stress. She would rethink things in the morning. Besides, it's not as if I had many strong friends that I would miss too much outside the pack, and she couldn't really stop me from seeing Jake if he really wanted to see me. I was starting to think of the "alpha" excuses I could use…

"Okay. Fine mom, but do you mind if we talked about this in the morning. Seth's about to sleep standing up and I wouldn't mind being in my own bed either."

She stood there contemplating for a moment before attacking us in a huge hug.

"I just love you two so much. Don't you ever dare do that to me again! You hear me?"

"Sure, sure." I heard Seth mumble. I gave him a good punch to the side. "Ouch!"

"_We _-,"I emphasised. "- promise."

She released us then, giving us each a quick kiss.

***

It was nearly three o'clock. I rolled over again, attempting to find a small, non-existent area of the bed which my own body heat hadn't touched. I knew why I couldn't fall asleep, but the reason scarred me. I missed him… Jacob. Ugh! Who would have thought that I would have actually grown attached to him, but I couldn't help it. We had been a part of each other for so long, constantly inside each others heads. How many nights had I fallen asleep, curled up beside him in the cold, outside of that stinking house? How many hours had we spent together in the past months? Without thinking about what I was doing, I got out of bed and walked out my bedroom door. I silently slipped past my brother's open door where I could hear him snoring loudly, then risked a look in my mother's room. My mom was curled up on to the right half of the bed, leaving the left half completely open, as if there was still someone sleeping there.

There sitting on her dresser was her favourite family picture of the four of us. I wondered if she would still keep it somewhere visible in the house when we were no longer the only ones looking at the happy family on the beach. Or would she even be in this house anymore? Would my thanksgivings and Christmas' be spent at the Swan residence from now on? I wondered if it hurt my mother to look at the photo. Then I wondered what Charlie's reaction would be to the simple picture which still inhabited my mother's nightstand. Did he look at his old friend's smiling family and feel guilty for the fact that not even a year later he was replacing him.

I shook my head away from these thoughts as I continued out the front door. If I were going to be able to control my anger, I had to stop provoking it. I wanted to make it as easy as possible for Jake to put up with me. Because despite his new found happiness there was not a doubt in my mind where that left me. I would still follow as his second. I was done high school now, and I had no immediate plans for university. I needed to get a few things straightened out before I could do that. I wondered where that left us, Jake and I. He would most likely follow around the Cullens when they needed to move. I guess I would go too. Maybe that included Embry and Quil as well, although I couldn't see Quil being too far away from Claire. And then Seth. Maybe by the time that the Cullens had to go, Seth would have graduated. Maybe we could find a place close to some college, just in case.

I let my mind wander over the possibilities as I walked briskly over towards the Black's residence. I didn't want to change forms as it wasn't that far of a walk and I'd rather not have to explain to my mom why my pyjamas were wet and dirty. Soon enough, I was at the front of Jake's house. I walked up the porch steps to knock and then decided against it. I wouldn't want to wake Billy. Plus, then I would have to explain to my mother why I'd come over. Technically, I was still grounded. I rolled my eyes. Instead I headed for the side of the house, where his bedroom window was. It was small and high up but I was sure I could jump in if it were open. I placed my hand to the thin layer of snow on the ground and watched as a perfect handprint melted underneath it. When the snow was cleared, I reached down and picked up a handful of stones and chucked them one after the other, hitting the perfect centre of his window. After about the sixth of seventh, I saw Jake's confused expression at the window. He pushed the window up.

"Leah, what the heck are you doing?"

"Move out of the way." I answered back.

"What?" He rubbed his eyes.

"I said move out of the way!"

As realization hit, Jake backed out of sight. I bent my knees, crouching for the lunge. I pushed off the ground with just the right amount of force as I dove head first through the window, landing in a summersault to absorb the impact and make for a quiet entrance. I stood up and smiled smugly.

"Show off." Jake muttered as he scrambled back into bed. "What do you want anyway?"

I turned around and closed the window and then took the half step necessary to reach his bed. He really needed a bigger room. Maybe when we moved away he could get a bigger place, since the Cullens seemed pretty generous with their outrageous sums of money. Maybe Jake could even get a car out of it too. I'm sure one of them could afford to give him an old one. Maybe Bella's since she seemed to have no appreciation what so ever for sports cars. I wondered if the rest of us, myself, Embry, Seth and maybe Quil, would be living with Jake too. Or would we each live separately. That seemed like a stupid idea. Rent would be cheaper if we all pitched in. And then we could all mooch off the Cullens. I was starting to like this plan more and more.

"Move over."

Jake shoved himself to the far side of his bed, leaving about as much room as to fit a small dog comfortably. I got in beside him pushing him further up against the wall so that I had a descent amount of room.

"Ouch!" he complained.

"You need a bigger bed."

"Have you seen this room? If I had a bigger bed, it wouldn't fit!"

"Okay, okay! Sorry."

"Will you tell me why you're here?" he questioned.

We both laid on our backs, staring at the dark ceiling. I wondered how to phrase my answer.

"I couldn't sleep." He waited for me to continue. Either that or he had fallen asleep. I poked his side.

"What?" he asked. Nope, still awake.

"And, well... I kind of missed sleeping next to you." There was an awkward silence. "It was kind of nice, to have someone around all the time." Still awkward. "When you weren't annoying the crap out of me." I joked.

That seemed to work. We both laughed.

"You know, you could have just used the front door." He said.

"I didn't want to wake up your dad."

"I mean, after you woke me up. I could have gone to the front door to open it."

"Right… I didn't think about that."

Just then I heard a buzzing noise from Jake's bedside table.

"Can you pass me the cell phone?" He asked.

I reached over and picked up the small, smooth, new, expensive phone that Jake had gotten from the Cullens for Christmas. It was so that he could always stay in contact with them. My theory is that Billy had begged them to do so because he was tiered of Jake running up his phone bill. Jake had become worst than the worst of worrying mothers over the little monster. Jake flipped open the phone to reveal that he had received a video message from Alice Cullen.

"Stupid phone. She must have sent this hours ago." He mumbled. Jake pressed the button on the phone and the video started to play.

There was the little monster herself, sitting on the floor of the living room. Her large brown eyes were wide with excitement at the small phone taking the video. She reached up to whoever was holding the camera to ask something. Before she could reach the one holding the phone, Edward's voice was heard from somewhere else in the room.

"She wants to know what you're doing Alice."

And then the holder of the phone, who must have been Alice Cullen answered. "I'm making a video of you, to send to Jake." It made us both smile at how Nessie's face immediately glowed at the mention of Jake. Alice continued. "Say something for him Ness."

"Hi Jakey!" She waved feverently and I even let out a small laugh at her enthusiasm.

"I love you." She continued. She smiled brightly while she played with the bracelet that Jake had made for her, then the video cut out.

I looked over towards Jake. He was smiling from ear to ear, as if he had just won the jackpot. No, he looked happier. I smiled with him. My happiness for him just slightly outshined by my resentment and jealously. He looked over towards me then.

"Do you think it's out there for me Jake?" I asked, letting my smile fall just the slightest amount. "The same happiness that you feel? Do you think I'll get my chance?"

"Of course Leah. There' a whole world out there. I _know_ that there's someone meant for you. "

I tucked my head onto his shoulder and slid more comfortably towards him. It was nice.

"Play it again Jake."

"Why? I though you hated Nessie."

"She's not so bad." I looked at the phone again, where her smiling face was still, waiting to be played again. "She's kind of cute."

Jake laughed and hugged me closer to him. I didn't mind. Then he pressed the button again for the video to start.

"Hi Jakey! I love you."

"Hi Jakey! I love you."

"Hi Jakey! I love you."

I let the repeated words of the happy child lull me to sleep as both of our heart beats kept in perfect time.


End file.
